Wrong Protection

Do explain to me..why do people protect their partner who are agressive and abusive..i really don't get it, why do people conceal them from all the clear warning sign that friends and family told them about..It seems like some people got so blinded by love that they think it's cool to go back to those who beat them..doing so is making all the abusive people from around the world cheer..well done..

The weird part is instead of protect yourself from these kind of people, they went back to them..i don't even freaking how that kind of thinking is logically possible after the shit that he/she just gave you. Most common case are of course men beat women, of course men are victims too sometime, so why do people still stay with them for..if someone is going to answer this question of mine by saying love is blind, love can changed someone..i will personally butcher myself. That type of blind love only apply to accepting someone for who they are, so for logic sake, it's not okay for someone to beat the shit out of you..love can't change anyone, people are who they are..so if he/she hit you once..never be with them..hello, come on, wake up stupid!! unless you wanna to fight to survive every night you keep staying with them then..

One of my friend's friend that i heard got beaten by her boytoy and when people asked about it, she won't admit instead she protect him from it, saying shit like " No, he never beat me before"..Her skin has obvious strangled and beaten marks yet she's protecting him from the truth...like i said..why..why people do that..did he beat the common sense out of her, is she not capable of thinking through logic sense no more..did her knowledge fell off from your brain?

Another type is protecting the one that did wrong and blaming the one that is the victim..in the case, it's really another perfect example of pure stupidity. One always blame the wrong person even though it's so clear to them that the other one is at fault, but because of retarded love, one chose the blame the victim to protect own self dignity..like a mother who favor her boyfriend over her own daughter..stranger in my bed over own flesh and blood sigh..what more i need to say..

Looks can be deceiving like they said, you'll think they're handsome and pretty and stuff..till they Chris Brown-ed your ass and now you're Rihanna..Seriously, don't be around this kind of people, it's way too dangerous..i hate abusive men, it turned the term men into faggot..

Great, now the world has another kind of population~men ,women and..faggot..
Adam and Eve will be so proud for us..

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World Saddest Picture

Stupid In Love

Since it's the month of valentine, it's the month of romance, instead of crapping about the beautiful parts of it..i want to touch on the ugly side of love, and get down and dirty, filthy, disturbing never discuss before documentary about it. I want to talk about the aftermath of heartbreak.

Break up, it's 2 strong words and it's never easy to go through, it's like walking in hell with your feet stepping on lava, it's painful but everything has it's healing antitode. Time is a healing process, it takes a long while to recover from a break up, yet even the process being carried out, some can still be stuck in the painful memories, dwelling in the ugly past, crying alone in the dark, the worst part of all this, is that even long after the heartbreak has been set and done, "victim of love" are punishing themselves because of what happened, like hating themselves because they were stupidly in love..

Rihanna's Stupid In Love from Rated R

Everything happened for a reason. Now, i don't understand why some people would want to continue torturing themselves for no reason..what done is done. Recently my mum told me that one of her friend drank some liquid acid crap and slit her wrist because of..you guessed it..This is what i was talking about, this is one of the perfect example of heartbreak gone wrong, all these activities, all these jackass stunts that people pulled, it's really nonsense..like they said..love kills. There are so many ways to get over a break up, and killing yourself is definitely not one of them.

I've been through a couple break up myself, shit was difficult, but life goes on and there is so many fishes in the sea, i mean the world is covered by 70% of water..plus, there's so much more to life than just a guy/girl, i was planning to sitting around and whine over them, put my first foot forward and the second one after, and i was ok again after a week..It's better if we don't waste our life over much matter, life has so much to it than just that..live it up not give it up.

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Marley & Me Review

I've been wanting to watch this movie for a long time, now i got my chance..it's was an emotional 2 hour movie..and the ending like i expected..teary..but overall, it's a good family movie, just make sure you have issues with you when watching..Marley And Me..

"A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, smart or stupid, or anything else, if you just give it your heart, it'll give you his.."

Girls Girls Girls

Recently i had an expensive lunch with my relatives, grandfather pay, so one of my uncle sat next to me and he start asking about what kind of girls do i like..And seriously, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, i really don't know what to look for in a girl..

Leg For Mercy
Some of my friends say i like girls in shorts, and that i look at legs..but that's is just because they like wearing like that, so if they wear like that, i, as a normal hormone guy, look..but actually when when i do that, I'm just sight seeing, legs or short mini pant or skirts is not what i look for in a girl, that's just clothing..i repeat..sight seeing only..

Question?
So my uncle went on and on with me on what type of girls do i like and i refuse to answer him, not because i don't want to, but really i don't even know myself. I'm not sure what type of girl do i like, it has been a question that i have never been able to answer since God knows when, there's just really something about it that i don't know how and why i can't give a proper answer to it, it sounds easy, to me it's a simple question to a different answer..So me and him were sitting by the window, and we were like checking out girls here and there, and he keep pointing to me wondering if she is my type of girl, and 10 times out of 10, i can't give an answer..even he got to a point where he wonder if I'm homophobic[ this i swear am not]..

Sze Shen And Lavinia
I don't want to sound like desperate by saying something like anything type of girls will do for me, I'm still wondering myself..this big question mark on my head will able be undone, it gets bigger and bigger everytime i wonder about what type of girls i like. Even when it comes to asking about my ex, the reason for why i fell in love with them, there could be so many ways and so many different angle y'all can ask me, but it will all come down to a linear narrow answer.." I Don't Know.." it just happened, i really didn't expect either of it to happen but it happen. Anyway, i don't know the answer to it, y'all may think I'm being secretive about my feeling again, but I'm all out now..it's the truth..I wonder how more selfish could i be, not even being able to know how i fell in love in the first place..jeez..

Old Digger
But recently i do have some older looking women pretty hot and sexy, i creep the shit out of me at first, the fact that i thought i finally found my answer, and that's older women? really? again, i apologizes by saying I Don't Know..Maybe the philosophy is true, that men do like older women, that the fact i do love looking at some female actress on TV, it's kinda out creepy overall..and thank God, that thought were only temporarily, but since it did occur at a short period of time, maybe it does mean something..

Easy To Be Too Easy
I think one of my major problem of not being able to answer this simple question of mine, is maybe because i fall in love too easily, kinda like loose. There's a Chinese word for this..flower heart[ direct translated]..maybe i'm that, it's not literally falling in love, but more of a crush rather than love. I see a girl, without even knowing her or anything, i could be thinking about her for long time, imagine falling for someone i don't even fucking know..i'm too easy..maybe that why i'll never know my answer, maybe i'll never, who knows..shit is crazy..There are times when i hate being like this, getting all this unneccasary feeling for no reason, i know nothing will happen, yet feeling occured..there no point to it. I mean it's common to fall for someone the first time we see them, but come on, not almost everyone..that's my poison, it's almost everyone..

Wonder, wonder wonder, wonder wonder wonder, question, question question, question question question..

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Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief Review

Percy Jackson is a pretty entertaining movie, not amazing nor terrible overall, just pretty decent, a good family movie to check out..

Random 08

See those words..

My fav is F10..All i want to say is R.I.P English~

Valentine Massacre

First off i want to say Happy Valentine Day to those who have a valentine..Second, i know this post is like a few days late, that only because i thought of the post now..Third, why are some people so desperately dying to find a person and celebrate Valentine for..

What i meant was that i seen some shit in Facebook before, where by my friends are so desperately need a girlfriend or boyfriend, posting emo shit on it..saying something like " All my cousin bought their girlfriend home for CNY except me.." Sigh, i don't really blame them for their emptiness, the way i see it is no surprise, judging by the fact that 2010 starts off with lots of breaks up..shit is crazy..

It's just that L.O.V.E is not as easy as u think it is, it's not what you see like on TV, or in music, shit is real complicated and sometime all those things that people went through, can end in a sudden. I have a few friends who are in their 20's and have never dated anyone before, i don't blame them if they feel left out or strange or lonely cause the fact is..sometime it makes you feel out casted..while others are totally happy with their single life..It can be hard to know that you never had a relationship before..makes you wonder eh..

I've been single for like 6 years now since my last *ahem*..At first, i do feel like those of my friends, we are lonely and bored and jealous of others..But as times goes by, i find that shit happened for a reason, God has planned out our life line, so whatever happened, will bound to happen, and maybe is happening now because God has plan something else for us, heard of "Save the best for last.."? So after living a single life, i do find myself wondering at time, is there really someone's else for me waiting on the other side of the door, or maybe i'm destined to be alone..But honestly, i think that God is fair to all, He wouldn't make a guy without making his girl, matter like this takes time..So what i'm saying is that..be patience..I'm not religious or anything, but i truly believed in that..It will happen when it's supposed to happen..

But then again, if some of us are meant to be single forever..it's fated, there's nothing we can do, but for as long as we go, just live life as it is..being single does have it's advantages too right..

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Monster

During Chinese New Year, i heard news that one of my uncle, father's side..beats his son to the max, literally what i called abusive hit..

I didn't really ask much about it, i just pray for him to be safe, away from him and hopefully find a better place to live in. I was really shock when i found out there was another Chris Brown in my family, except this one beat his kids too. I don't know much, in fact i don't know nothing at all, all i can say is that I've known this uncle of mine long ago, though i have not seen him for years now..have always been the troubled one in the family.

The only thing that my mum told me is that he beat his son so badly that he was laying down on his own blood..I don't know if he just beat one of more of his kids, whatever it was, this is not correct, this is brutality. There's a lot of ways to teach or guide a kid, but beating him to near death is not one of them..I felt like whatever the child did wrong, as a parent, we are supposed to teach and educate them, not kick the shit out of it..My cousin is about 16 right now, still a teen, still learning through mistakes, still growing up and still falling down..of course i really don't see how unnecessary violence fits into the picture.

This of course got me thinking..since me and my dad both have quite a anger when pissed off..since anger lives in my vein too because I'm my father's son too..will i be able to avoid this, will i be able to not walk into the same path as my father or my uncles? How will i know exactly..I've been pissed off quite badly over some small matters before, released ugly anger over something that can handled like civilized people..I'm sure after y'all read this, I'm gonna get a lot of "you're not your father, you are you.." of course this won't work when suddenly shit happened and you're ticked off..we tried to avoid becoming those who we hate, yet we still become them..

I always say i don't want to be exactly like my dad, i mean i want to be the good part of him but not the bad, how sure am i specifically? I always say i want to be better than my old man..but I'm all talk, not yet experiencing it yet..so how sure am i, what if i going to be almost like him in the future..the question remains..Like i said many times before, my dad is not a terrible father, he's a great man, he tried his best to be one, but the anger is always the thing that make me despite him sometime..

So how can i avoid being a monster..

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I Hate CNY

I hate it..i hate it..totally despise it..I mean hate it for many reasons, it just so boring and lame and the fact that i've been doing it for the past 20 years..time to give it a break, i don't freaking celebrate birthdays anymore after 14 to 15 years later..

Now of course a lot of people are going to go against me on this shit..but then again there are those who are going to go with me on this. I see this day as another execuse day to get families together..To me, there's no such thing, my parents got divorced so fuck the term "family reunion".

I never really get into the whole Chinese New Year crap thingy, buy new clothes, take ang pau and stuff..I don't want to repeat this shit every single year, is just gets boring easily and i'll get fed up quickly..since my parents never go to each others house for "family reunion"..should i even start to take a single mini tiny bit interest of it..NO..

I'm not good nor close with my father's side of the family, when i said not good, i literally mean i don't talk to them nor do they want to talk to me, and when i said i'm not close with them, i'm talking about totally stranger entering someone's else house. Me and my cousins are so close, so literaly close that i don't know a single one of their name or age or who their parents are..that's how close we are..so should i take interest? after 20 years, why bothered..The only reason i even force t osee them is because of my father, other than him, the rest can be much fade away..

On my mum side, i'm closer with them..and i still hate the fact i have to celebrate Chinese New Year..My grandfather loves days like this, anything that has something to do with gathering, he'll host. He's one of the reason i still have to do this shit is because if i chose not to go to his place, my granmother will get all the punishment while my mum will be to blame..He just hate it when people don't bothered anything that has connection with him, like birthdays..if we don't remember his birthday, all hell breaks loose, but when he don't remember anything one of ours..it's ok..

Hell, i even hate typing these words now..jeez..anyway, for those who enjoys and love CNY..enjoy and have fun..for those who are like me..

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Shoppin' With Girls

Yes, you read it right..i'm shopping with girls..boo hoo..it doesn't take a genuis to figure it out, it's actually no surprise to it either..But when i do say that i'm shopping with girls, i don't mean literally "shopping" with them, what i meant was following them to see outfit and stuff and maybe give a few opinions here and there, that's all..not opening my wallet too.

This idea came to me when i was following my female friend of mine to shop for her CNY clothes. Walking around from store to store for nearly 3 hours. Last time i used to hate following the girls around whenever we're in a mall..just wasn't mature enough at that time i think..like..

They will lead the way and we will be their rear end.
They will go into a shop and we will whine.
They will search for stuff while we will search for chairs.
They will want to buy while we be their ATM.

Nowadays i just train myself to enjoy being around girls while they shop, i mean it's not that difficult to tolerate..just takes practice and a little patience. Now i do admit that i find it slightly more enjoyable to follow women into store. I find it less boring now compare to just sitting around and wait for them, looking at clothes with them and choosing colors for them is all that i might do..maybe every now and then, they'll asked for my opinions..they asked me because they can't decide, so i say A, but they end up choosing B, so my extra spit is pointless..

Even though i make it sound like it's a waste of my thought, all they really need is just a man's perspective, i mean the reason women shop and shop is for men to look at right..if they feel like they look nice they would want to give something for the men to look at too..eye candy for everyone. I feel like this whole thing is like a practice for me, i start now i might be able to handle a slow-hard-to-decide-A-or-B clothes-type-of-wife-shopper. Plus, learning about women through the way they shop is kinda fun, like what type of outfit they like to buy and stuff, it's hard to describe but it's just give me a sense of what are their favourite type of clothes and what's not..like taking interest in it or something otherwise shit is just plain boring..

Now note to y'all..I'm not a faggot.. i don't buy handbags or shit like that..it's just next time if you have a girlfriend or a wife, shit will be less dreadful..but the shit you're paying for their crap is ridiculous, 400 for a bag?..women~Seriously now i don't mind following them anymore, but ladies please, every now and then, let me sit and rest for a while..thank you..

Oh ya, they can have a closet full of clothes, shoes and bags..and they can say they have nothing to wear[ from men's views, ladies..]

Like a saying that goes " You don't have to understand a woman, just have to love her.."

Couple Retreat Review

Another one of those romantic comedy, it was an OK movie..of course don't expect anything new from genre like this..The only thing that blows my mind about this movie is how beautiful island is, crystal clear blue water, it's amazing[the scenery only]..like one of the character's line " it's like a screensaver..

Purifying Myself Till..

I was talking to some of my male friends today, and i was talking about Pre-Marital Sex, and i told them that i will not, i repeat, will not have sex with anyone till marriage..and guess what, they find it hard to believe that a guy can do so..

I find weird that they can't believe that i will do such a thing, staying a "virgin", maybe some might guys thinks that guys don have "virginity", okay fine then, I'll use their slang..pure. I don't find it that hard at all actually, all it takes is will power, patience and determination, and i have all..well i do, otherwise i won't be writing this post now will i? The things is that in my opinion, our first time is something that should be memorable, passionate and with only that special someone. I don't get how shallow society has become, it's like it's doesn't matter to anyone anymore, everybody is treating it like sports, or more like fashion. If one do it, then all should follow..what are we? dogs?..

I have my own policy that is not to have sex with anyone at all before marriage. The way i viewed it is like something..i can only have my first time once, might as well have it with that special someone of mine, which is my wife [whoever she is]. I can only have my first time once, might as well make it memorable because nobody will forget their first time right.. I regret giving my first kiss away to my ex, so i am definitely not giving this away that easily too..I signed a contract to myself and God that ain't nothing ever going to happen before the wedding bell rings..I don't care how hot the girl is, i don't care if she's naked in front of me, i don't care if she wants it badly..i ain't doing it..My friend asked what if she say she will break up with me if i don't do it with her, then my answer will be..

Big N.O..then i move on with someone else..

If you find me saying shit like "I want to get lay and stuff", it's just talk, just entertaiment, i may fuzz about it but that doesn't mean i will go do it. I have policy to live with, either live with it too or get lost..I'm not doing what the 21 century couple likes to do..it's just cheap to me. My mum did not raise a fool and certainly taught me better than this. If i'm the last one in my group friend who is still a virgin, so be it...boo hoo. To those who find this post sensitive or whatever, you can click the red X button on your top right side of your computer screen and fuck off..

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Cry

I realized i can't cry..i can't cry at all..I have tried to cry couple of times, but i can't...

I feel like it's no shame if you want to cry in public or in front of someone else, i mean if it's makes you feel good about it, then do go ahead..Crying is healthy and it helps you feel better. Sometime i wish i could cry a little you know, just a little at least..i can't cry at all, in fact, i can't even freaking remember the last time i cried..

It's really okay to cry sometime, to express certain emotions through sadness or pain or whatever..instead of surpassing it all on the inside. As a guy, i feel like it's shameless to do so, don't have to always be macho, the tough guy you know, a little sensitivity doesn't kill if one feels like using it..But, if a guy really can't cry and you try to help him open that gate, shit gets really nasty, all the little feeling in detail all spill out at once..I've seen some before..

I didn't cry when i heard one of primary Math teacher died suddenly, i didn't cry when sad scene from a movie comes on, i didn't cry i broke up with my ex, i didn't cry when everybody in the room was crying over something, i didn't even cry when my grandfather died..Back then i remembered the whole scenario, everybody's tears was pouring down like it's raining, it was a sad sad moment in life, but maybe i didn't cry because i was too young to truly understand anything yet..

I know i'm not a cyborg, of course i'm not..but a drop or two every now and then will be okay with me..

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Price On My Head

I am wanted dead not alive by someone..why?
because i tell the truth,
because i helped someone in need,
because i said it in the way i see it..

And now..

I got bounty hunter chasing after me like a fugitive, hunting me down like an animal, ready to skin me for my meat..I don't how this could happened, honesty got me into a deep black hole that i'm in right now. Seriously, if i gonna get popped, i ain't going down without a fight..I didn't do anything wrong, i just said what i saw and feel and just being real with it..

I helped those that i think i might be able to help, i thought i might be able to at least do something to ease down the whole situation crap, turns out shits like this comes with a price..This would never have happen if shit wasn't leaked out, if truth wasn't exposed, if the wind didn't changed it's direction..There's nothing i can do, for i have done all that i can do..truth hurts and if someone can't take the shit that i spit..then there's nothing more i can do..really..nothing more..

Anyhow, like i always said, i don't want no trouble, who does? but... trouble always come find me..always, like we're fated together or something..Anyway, what ever happen then just let it happen..

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