Designer's Life

From time to time i still wonder what's the true reason of me to enroll into a college when all this time fate has decided that eventually i will be nothing that i've learned..what's the true purpose of going into a awful management college, stuck in a room with a hamburger owner and going through multiple companies in 3 months for 3 years for..what is the reason for it.

Back when i first graduated from high school, first thing that came to my mind is college, because obviously is the next best thing to do thanks to all the constant pressure from family and relatives. Of course that not the first thing i did, i first thing i did when graduated was taking a bite from a cigarette..the sour moist of another guy's lips touching mine..ahhh..then i work for 4 and a half month before the journey of Subang Jaya begins for me.

People always what you want to be when you grow up, and i always didn't know what i want to be since i don't know what i can and cannot be. So drawing is the only thing i like doing since young, so drawing might be my resource income..therefore, enrolling into designing for the life for me. Little did i know that what I'm about to learn has very little to do with pencil or sketching, it's all done in computer..I'm no computer geek so it was never going to be easy for me.

3 years flew by just like the wind that breeze through the air I breathed, within a blink of an eye i was about to enter another climax of my life..working. Without wasting any time i quickly searching for hundred of website to find vacancy where people is willing to take me in. Finding job has nothing been easy for me since what i always wanted to do i never get them..someone else is always living my dream, blowing my wish.. I remembered getting calls for some companies just to get rejected from them after wasting so much time going there by public transports.. This is not the first time i suffered many rejection consecutively to get something, i was struggling badly.

After more than 10 interviews i finally land myself a job..to my surprise it's somewhere very far, far enoough to said that if without my own transport it'll be torture to travel, and a torture it was. I quit.. like a snap of a finger.. i realize it's not something that i had in mind, i have to end it before it goes too far. Second came the most probably worse working place a man could possible be in..I was in a dirt bag where dirt money comes in everytime someone decided to change certain aspect of themselves, and i'm not that kind to agree to certain thing like that..not to mention i was the only designer in that place, everybody wanted me to do everything but nobody offer a hand, i quit again few days before getting paid..the extreme amount of relive to be free was overwhelming and i couldn't have been happier.

Everytime i quit a job i end up being back on square one, going through list after list of website again, adding it all up it was about a total of 30 interviews i did before landing my 3rd working place in 3 months..within a month i quit again for good this time. I was starting to think that maybe designing is not the path that i'll be walking down on..it was kinda like a sign that maybe it's time to say goodbye to this 3 years of my life and that this is not for me at all since beginning, maybe this is God ways of showing to me, oddly enough.

I realize how difficult my life could have been if i were to stay in that world of designing.. the 'Overwork Underpaid' phrase will come in just great and fits perfectly into the picture frame..I'll probably struggled more than the rest due to my lackluster skill of designing, during the whole searching of a job period, i've started to see the clearer picture, graphic design is not for me. They said that if some people are really good at what they do then they are meant to do those thing, I'm terrible at graphic..

I'm glad that i've left that lifestyle behind me, surely life is working out better for me now..though i had to leave my friends behind, sorry guys..

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