August time i was talking about marriage..i was talking about how couple should spend more time and effort thinking the real deal in a relationship which is marriage..and i went on and on about what i would do with my marriage if i get myself one, then lately..
Lately..well lately i don't know what have gotten into me but for the first time in my life I'm actually considering the intention of not getting married at all for eternity..hm, i even surprised myself. To be honest i have no explanation on what caused i to think such thing, anyone who knows me long enough would know that i can't wait to have a little girl of my own and i love looking at women..so what's up?
I'm guessing that maybe all these while my interests peek at the thought of being married but in reality, life ain't that easy breezy. I was thinking that i hate doing the most things married couple have to do for or with each other like family reunion during CNY or what not, the wedding itself and other stuff that i don't want to get too into..maybe the problem is me here myself. Am i afraid of commitment?
I don't think so..maybe I'm worried i won't be a good father or husband..or maybe I'm worried about sharing the same fate as my parents because divorce is seriously not an option for me. I'm also worried whether or not i can provide for more than one mouth, wit the current position that I'm in..money is at the top of my fucking skull. I'm stuck at dilemma..having silly thought about future plans when I'm barely even at the next chapter yet.
I spend more time thinking about having a little girl than about having a wife, clearly shows that my interests is not stable whereby I'm just using a woman's body to birth me a daughter, other than that.. the page stays blank..what happened to the wife? i don't know nor do i care, damn. Some might said that when the right person comes along, the mindset will change..but i don't think the problem will stop there, I'm actually seriously considering not getting married at all.
Ignore me..I'm just questioning myself
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