Bye Bye 2011 Hi Hi 2012

2011 was a pretty yin yang year for me.. everything falls right in the middle..balance out left and right.

Blog And Facebook
I post some of my most interesting stuff yet this year and also finally open up topics about sex, wasn't easy but wanted to expand the horizon while Facebook stays Facebook, deleted lots of unwanted people that i have absolute no interest in anymore..

Work
Work basically comes down to the middle, on the first half of this year, I sold more houses and i rent and gained more houses than i've lost, but ya this is the first time i hold a job where it lasted for a year. First time making a living for myself and proud of some my accomplishment too.

Music
What is there to say about my taste in music since it's the same and always will be, still rap, still hip hop..

Movie
This year movie is slagging and it's all just Superheroes movie and animated movie, nothing epic from big director therefore this year movie wasn't as exciting as last year's.
My Favourite Top 5 Movie Of 2011
1. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol
2. Harry Potter Deathly Hallow Part 2
3. Transformers 3
4. Sherlock Holmes A Game Of Shadow
5. Fast Five

Biggest Surprise
Obviously this year biggest surprise to me is earning 10k for a house, never would i thought that i'll be able to make this amount of money at such age, i always thought that years after years will only i'll be able to achieve but then God work in a surprising way, so i'm grateful.

Biggest Disappointment
The worse thing that can happen to me is losing a chance to sell off a house when i know i could or when i'm close to selling it, but sometime, interfere such as time, fate, distance and basically everything in the world when it gets in the way. Nothing is more disappointing than rejection or failure.

2012 Ahead
All i wished for that is being more successful in my career than i did this year well because obviously after a year i should be able to take one step forward on the stair and go higher with this shit. Therefore success is all i'm looking forward for that year...and money.

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What The Fish

At one point of the fashion world, someone somewhere invented fishnet stocking and women decided it's theirs to stylize it therefore born the day of fishnet stocking and shit is sexy for some..but then i don't know in what God's name happened to it.

Men fashion style is as casual as average C can be, men fashion is simple and easy and that's it..anything beyond that can either go south or go north and either way it'll go wrong. Take fishnet for example and make it into a T shirt and BAM..we're given another reason why we should wear sunglasses.

I remembered the first time i saw someone wore fishnet T shirt, it was in a shopping mall and the guy who wore it was a malay guy in his early 40's maybe, fat and chubby and ugly looking of course.

To my disgusted moment i was stunned when i saw him wore a shirt like tat outdoor, because no matter the color and design, i can see almost everything underneath that clothes, it kills the need of using imagination of picturing seeing someone naked in our mind..where's the fun in it, don't mind the fun, where's the clothes in that..clothes.

I thought we buy clothes to cover ourselves so who thought of the idea of fishnet T shirt for men? If a woman wears it i ain't gonna complain but it's not..and surprised i've encounter 3 guys wearing fishnet t shirt outdoor and they walk around with such comfort embracing their body look on their face. It's horrifying and quite frankly..violating..will someone think of the childrens?!

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Repair Me

My laptop is finally cripple..unintentionally of course..after watching it battle it's disease for 2 years i think if i remembered correctly on when i got my laptop..

Actually it had multiple problem after i used it for quite some time later..after being perfect like the apple in my eyes and all, shit starts happening and quite frankly i don't remember what was the first problem though. The problem i remembered the most however was the first time my screen went pink..yes Chloe's color..it went there.

Speechless as i am, i didn't take much concern to it because if shit can be solved without money involved then why not right..well now my laptop is cripple as fuck but not because of the screen but something regarding my hard drive..shit went crazy last night.

I was listening to music and all and got cut out automatically for no reason then my desktop screen went black and blank, couldn't access document and files anymore, mozilla and internet explorer went missing, it's like an empty vessel laptop with no meat bones and organs in it..but i'm smart..

For some reason MSN was untouch so i used the email button to access internet explorer but because my hard drive is corrupted somehow shit is a bit slow which is something i need to get used to from now on..

P.S. Before someone comment so, it's not porn..it's not virus..it's my hard drive..

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Poor Lil' Rich

"At the moment you have come to a complete dead end. Nothing seems to be progressing and you are tempted to throw in the towel. Consider such moments as a test of your willpower and it will soon become clear how important it is to you that you follow through with your plans. You will then find the energy required to continue over all obstacles. Otherwise you must let it go and start again from a different perspective"

My horoscope is totally right, alot of people was looking forward to November because of the stupid date 11.11.11..where alot of people got married and celebrate while other have the unfortunate side of that date which lead to death and others..

Me..on the hand, things have not been going well so far..November starts off bad for me, real bad..First off, i lost a couple of houses already and by losing i mean lost chances after chances of getting paid. Sometime being an agent sucks because your chances of getting paid got fucked up too by either the customers or the owners or even both..and because of that, i suffered too.

It's always pisses me off when everytime i'm so close to winning and yet somehow losing always able to make it to the finish line first..and according to my horoscope, today was like that, just another one of those days where failure shit on me, literally.. To me, losing chances to make money is more heartbreaking than failing in a relationship, hell i'll probably have more trouble getting over a failed chances at property selling than a relationship.

The second half year for business of 2011 is not as good as the first half, i'm bleeding dry of money and fate still doesn't seems to make any U turn at anytime therefore i'm thinking of becoming a male prostitute and give up this agent lifestyle (kidding by the way). So this is what it feels like living on the edge of being broke..any kind soul want to offer me a hand?

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What If What If

Many times in life where i thought what if the things that happened to me happened differently..what if fate changed and alternate the path that i was supposed to go. I'm sure everybody wonders what if they have taken a different route and see how life plays out..that's why people always talk about time machine right?

What if i didn't went for college and straight to work instead, i would have never met some people share the same taste with me in designing, to be challenged by creativity, to meet friends that treat me like real friends and having me being in a club for the first time promising me that I'll get laid and drunk when neither happen.

What if my dad wasn't around anymore when i finished college, would i be able to have a stable job with good income? I'll probably still be behind a desk struggling with my half ass skill just to scrap food on my plate.. Probably would have never been able to sleep since payment is so low and money will always be an issue no matter how many years i pour into it.

What if i have taken better care of myself, sleep well and eat healthier..hell, i would have been healthier of course and wouldn't have to go through this bullshit of wasting 18k just for the bills. Would have have enough money to do my stuff instead of putting it into someone else pocket. Maybe also due to my childhood kidney problem, therefore this..happens.

What if i was a little more patience and less angry, i could be if i want to be but sometime the feeling took control of itself causing temper explosion to happen. I would have less conflict with my family and friends if i was just a little more patience..but i don't know but i am what i am and this is what i am despite i am.

What if i didn't move around so much and rather stand settle on one location forever, where would i have stayed? Kinda hope that it would have been Kuantan since some of my most remembered memories is at that place. Plus the Kuantan house we had is also the best house i've stayed in.. shame that we moved again a couple of time after that.

What if my parents were still together..i asked myself that question a million billion trillion times a day..

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Hate To Wait

The title basically said it all..I'm a very impatient little asshole and when my patience is put to the test 99% of the time i would fail at it miserably..So here's what happened recently..

I order an item..me and my friend, we ordered an item..so he got it for me too so the thing is over at his place and i ask him to send it over to my place via Poslaju and how hard could that be right, wrong..it's like a fucking impossible task to do because of the constant delay again and again..it's driving me crazy..

The item arrived at Wednesday at his place, send it over on Thursday, i should be receiving it on Friday..i went to work on Friday. 30 minutes after i left my place Poslaju send it over and i wasn't at home and i tried to get it from their place but they were on lunch break, so ya da ya da bla bla i called at 5.30 minute to check again they said the staff are using the computers to key in code so it's booked full.

So ya da ya da again I just thought I'll go over and pick it up on Saturday and to my motherfucking surprised, it's closed some more..i was already at the edge of my meter ready to explode and here i am, again..not being able to receive my crap. So now, i have to wait till Tuesday because Poslaju don't open on Sunday and Monday is some fucking holiday..

I was screaming on the inside and out while i was driving back home..i mean how hard is it just to receive a package, just sign and receive right..but it end up with all this nonsense motherfucking over the top bullshit crap that i don't need. Am i being punk by God? Am i being punished? All i want is my package for the love of Christ!!

Meaning to say..i've been waiting for one whole week just for something..sigh..

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Youtube, My Enemy..

Does Youtube have some sort of a "Channel Racism" or something because i remember there should to be a time where Youtube allowed videos that i love to watch to be played there, but now seems like searching for anything is bloody difficult..

Youtube is all about users uploading their videos in there for the world's eye's pleasure..i totally understand videos that have nudity to be not allowed in it, but why not even videos that are juz like normal without any parental warning stamp all over it?

I should to remember the good old days where i can search up Youtube for TV sitcoms and movie and actually find what i'm looking for..but now it seems like anyone who upload anything full is considered copyright issue to some company but then..how come some others aren't. Again i totally understand if certain video is leaked out before hand but some aren't.. some are just been there for quite some time and suddenly Youtube doesn't allowed it anymore.

I'm just mad because it's difficult as it is already when i have no control over what TV broadcast can show what and when, therefore i thought Youtube could be my savior..but apparently not too. They allowed lesbian kissing but not normal TV show we see everyday on TV, they allowed old movies with full length in it but not newer movie that have been just released maybe a year ago.. the whole thing is just inconsistent.

Sometime i prefer to sit in front of my laptop with my lunch and watch Youtube instead of television because i can choose what i want to watch rather than the other way around, so when Youtube is being this picky over copyright issue..it's just wierd. I mean it's not like any of the videos shown on Youtube are the same day a movie or TV show is released..but i think maybe it's because of rating and money making, that's why..

Either way Youtube needs to balance out their nonsense..

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Sale Or Rent

This post is dedicated mainly to all property agents out there, if you're not interested in property nor an agent..do not read this post for it will be strictly boring to your attention. Thank You.

There's 2 way to get paid when it comes something to do with property, either by selling or renting, more people will think selling is better because we agents will get more money, while other believe that renting will get fast money.. true and true. I personally like to use both.

When i first started out as an agent i was only interested in selling houses because at that time i got rejected for house rental multiple throughout, that in return killed my interested in renting for a very long time. So i focused only in selling houses instead and one month into the line of work i sold my first house therefore i thought maybe i can survive mainly by focusing on selling only..but i was wrong.

The thing with selling property is that it takes longer time to get paid, with getting the right customers then getting loan approved and then letting lawyer to prepare agreement and all sometimes takes months to do..then only..finally signed and get paid. Logically speaking, if only one case per month and that's how long it takes to get it done..no one's gonna survive long. Sometime to make the progress more challenging, problems might occurred in between stages, adding even more tension than it already has.

It didn't took me long to realized that i can't survive much just by sticking to one way of making money in this sort of work therefore rental is also important, at least if you wanna start off slowly, try out house rental first..like me. Rental is the opposite of selling, it's faster but less payment because quite frankly the reason people rent houses instead of buying is because they can't afford it right?

The thing about rental is that normally if a customer has confirmed they're interested it would take about a few weeks to get money, less but at least one will get paid. Rental's biggest worries is that if the so called customer is not what they seem to be sometime, that in return will causes the agent and the owner alot of problem therefore..headache for no reason. There have been cases where a tenant changed the doorknob and lock itself so that no one can enter the house..yes, some people are just that bad. Trust betrayed..

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Weird Wired

Yesterday was apparently a holiday that i did not know of, some Malaysian Day or something created by some clown who feels like we need more holiday that we deserved..i say well done.

Anyway, yesterday my family is having some sort of a crazy fever to have the needs to constantly off the switch to the internet connection while I'm using it..3 times for crying out loud.

My mum did it in the morning so she could use the switch for her blow dryer, my dad then did it in the afternoon while he went for toilet then to finish the conclusion, my sister did it for the last time before going to bed. I repeat..all this while i was still using the internet, doesn't anybody sees me at all?

To make matter worse, a house owner wasn't a man of his words when he said he can meet me around 1 o clock to pass me a key to his shop. I called and asked if meeting around 1 o clock is convenience for him and he say yes but then sometime nothing is what it seems..i waited for 45 minutes before giving up on this clown and wouldn't bother with him anymore if he doesn't even bother to call back..and he didn't.

Luckily today he did..so i forgave him. Everybody seems to have some screw loose in their head last night. What a bizarre day.

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Secret Operation: Progress

Well it have been 2 month since i had my secret operation and well overall things are going pretty smoothly as i hoped for..

Though my health is getting better my wallet ain't sharing the same fate, i guessed you have to sacrifice one to get another one..oh well. So far all i did was just going over to the place twice a week to get check up and let them people do their things, all girls for some reason.

The place is nice and dark and even gloomy..quiet most of the time, feel kinda haunted if i think about it..not to mention can smell the place from a distance, now that's powerful shit they're using on me. Sometime when i walked up the stair (yes, it's on the second floor) i keep remembering the first time i walked into that hell's kitchen wondering how will all this turn out to be and how much will it cost me, apparently 10k ain't even enough..

So i've left about 8k more to pay, seems like it's taking forever to pay this due, all of my ass kissing, blood sweating, heat soaking hard earn money went down the drain for this crap. Being totally happy for my health condition will always be 50/50 only no matter what..because everytime you think about it, you think about money..and how much of it have u wasted unnecessarily.

Long story short, this is just half of the full story..will update more next time.

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Ghost Month

Let me be clear that August wasn't a very good month for me..life wasn't terrible at all but just was hoping for something decent enough for me to be happy.

I don't want to sound like I'm bitching about life whenever it takes a route that i didn't plan for..but maybe sometime worries and curiosity takes too much of a toll for me.. you know the feeling when certain things isn't going well for you and you just want to know that if it'll ever get better again.. life wasn't at it's best shape for me in August, going through a lot of different shit nearly everyday

August was what the Chinese like to call ghost month festival or something and i got frustrated with sleeping. I find it very difficult for me to sleep but stupidly easy to get woken up by even the slightest noise made by anything or anyone near my radius, so sleeping is super important for me. I nearly lost it over a night of sleep, imagine that.

I got my payment for the last house i sold about 3k plus and only getting 1.8k plus for splitting it with company, not that i don't like it but just that that is the last sale i got in term of selling since June, so ya it's been 3 months since anything new. With that said, I'm just worried about myself not able to make ends meet with this job..p.s, I'm broke again.

Reason for being broke.. paying medical bills, but at least i noticed it's getting better and i feel better so that's most important for me. i have paid about 10k for now and another 8k more to go..feel like I'm bleeding dry on money here. I guess the real major problem i have right now is mostly because of money issue otherwise i would be fine..money is always an issue in life.

I repeat i ain't bitching about life but just getting shit off my chest, keeping it all tight down inside of me can be overloading sometime. So I'm hoping September will be a better month for me..the ghost month because I'm Ghost, get it? No?

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A Nice Lady

I meet someone named Molly today, she is someone that I'm gladly to have the privilege, the liberty and the chance to sell off her house.

Initially i thought Molly is some mid age 30's looking woman that is kinda plum based on her voice (sorry ladies), it's just a feeling based on the conversation we had on the phone..her house is the same place where i sold my first house, a place called Ozana..love them place..so obviously i was excited cuz it's like going back full circle to where i started.

Anyhow the day start off bad because she made the appointment so early in the morning like 8 o clock something, i was still sleeping for crying out loud but i didn't bitch about it. To my surprise Molly is actually a 60 year old looking old lady..but minute within meeting her i can already tell that she was very friendly and i was right.

I bring her to some places where she needs to cut off her electricity and water bills so that she doesn't have to pay anymore and while we were in the car we get to know alot about each other, kinda like mutual understanding between a 20's and 60's. Funny how we bond so quickly..beside it helps me to learn new things too so either way it was a win-win situation for neither for us.

When i said she was nice i meant it..it's hard to have someone this trust worthy and sincere and loyal altogether in one complete package.. I've been stab by customers and property owners before, not litereally though but verbally, so to be able to encounter someone like her is rare..someone who understand the life of an agent and understand that what we do is just our way of making money and strictly business, she teach me some new stuff on how to talk to customers and all, though i don't use it cause i've prepared myself too.

After getting everything done, she even offered me half her snack and drinks because she was afraid i might be hungry and all, i mean..person like this is truly rare like some fossil you'll never find, i meant for real yo.

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Red As The Devil Is

On the subject of renting a house, this month I've rented out a nice double story terrace house and it was fast, it was easy and it was quick or so i thought..

Why is it that when it took me awhile to get a house to be sold off the problem normally occurred with the duration of how long it takes to get it done but when it only takes me not more than a week to get it done, major issue problem always happened.

Let's take a look at a house i sold last month, shit took off fast but had lots of landing problem that drove me crazy, metaphorically speaking by the way and now again, it fucking happens again..the house i've rent out this month was no smooth sailing, shit was absolutely insane, it's making me wanna pop my eyes off my head and just explode or something..

I don't wanna get too much into detail because i know y'all probably wouldn't care or understand about it but let's just say that the owner and the customer don't see eye to eye and being the agent sometime, get dragged along even if it's nothing to do with you.. i mean how hard is it to rent a goddamn house. The house is cursed or something, either that or August is really a bad bad month for business everywhere..maybe the legend is true after all.

All i wanna know is what's the reason for this to happen, what is God trying to say to me now..i need a sign or answer or something. How did i get myself into this mess..what a lousy first experience of co broking with a colleague.

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On The Edge Of Poor

Earlier this year around January, i slowly got a taste of hard earn sweat money and it only gets sweeter and sweeter by the month with more and more houses getting sold..suddenly came June, i got a taste of living on the edge of poor..

Growing up i never really have any experience of what it's like being poor all the time, i live in a average life where I'm at the middle of money value..though i was never really thought much of cherishing every penny i have too. Being very lucky to find a father that have decent income to provide for us, money wasn't in my mind because what i want i ask and i get..but then again, i never took advantage nor was i spoiled..

Fast forward 20 years later, here i am working as an agent, property that is..after having month and month of decent sale and slow but good head start suddenly i decided to take a top secret medical treatment and decided to pay for it myself, that's why life turn upside down for me. Suddenly I'm broke as hell, my bank account is not worth looking at, my wallet is constantly empty all the time and suddenly i have to think twice about everything before throwing bucks away on it..

Now i realized how fortunate i've been and how it feels like living poor as fuck..having to sell off houses or what not just to have those commission spend on car installment and medical bills before i can even get a chance to spend it on myself. Now every cent is very important to me..very blood sweat and tears is important to me..i even went as far as to selling off stranger's phone that i've found at some food court just to pay bills.

Everytime i pour a 50 on petrol my heart breaks a little but without it I won't be able to work..compromising. This post is largely just me trying to say that i can't wait for the bills to be paid finish so that i can get back my life and move on to phrase 2..i want my confidence back.

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Icestructor's Birthday

Happy Birthday to my car..officially been driving her around for a full year now, amazing..I called my car Icestructor but personally i named her Jamie, why? i don't know why either.

I remember the first time i lay on her when i came back to Malacca..she was white, she was still, she was shy and she was patience with her. I had to learn how to be patience with her too when i first started out driving again after 3 years without a steering wheel in my hand. After a while of getting used to her, i drove her around back to Subang.

It was a pretty scary the few times when it was just me and her, we encounter many fears and problems together..nearly crashed into a few vehicle and people along the way.

Brings back so much memories on how because of Icestructor i was able to finally have no trouble with transportation to work but then on the other hand Jamie is a pretty heavy petrol drinker..partially broke everytime feeding her.

People said that Viva is ugly and it's a box car, but i don't see it that way because it does whatever car does, taking me from point A to point B and for Icestructor's case, easy to maneuver.

I have amazing one year with my car and i hope to continue having few more great years with her before the world stop spinning.

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Fully Embrace

If anyone has follow my blog long enough to know that my father is currently seeing someone from Ipoh, i don't like her at first..in fact i still don't like her but there was a time when i thought maybe i should be more understanding and happy for other people..especially my own father.

At first it was hard for me mainly because i found out about it by myself and not through him, although i highly doubt he'll tell me either way, so it was a bit of a shocker. Initially i don't mind till i keep seeing him driving back and forth like some mad cow disease for this bitch..and i don't like it because my father is in his early 50's and in no shape to do things like this anymore and of course i worried for his safety but it seems nobody else except me care about this issue..therefore i hated her. I hated her because she doesn't seem to realized the man got kids, a son that loves him enough to not wanting anything to happen to him..

but not her..sadly enough..and even more sadly..not even him..

But some part do want to look at this with open mind and arms because one of these day[if] I bring home my girlfriend, i would want my parents to welcome her with open arms too right..how can my dad be happy for me if i can't be happy for him. This open minded person of me was a short period, the more i think about it the more i get fed up..fed up to the point that if i ever meet her..God only knows what will happened to her.

Sometime i really tried to be as supportive as i could for my father or anyone i know that found so called "someone special" because i know the feeling and the moment and the joy when it happened.. but sometime it hard to do so when every inch of your body and your instinct says otherwise. As much as you want to tell that person that it ain't gonna work, one have no choice but to sit and watch helplessly.

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Farewell James

A soldier in our company has desired to put his rifle here and deploy to another station in Kuala Lumpur, he's may not be the best but we still lost a good soldier..

I can never see myself working as an agent in KL, with the constant battle with traffic and hot weather..making appointment will be bloody impossible.

I read that KL market value is insanely high compared to here in Melaka..example for a double story terrance house here in Melaka is only about 200k while in KL is maybe around 400k above..see the difference..

Anyway, my colleague James will be leaving us and the company behind for a life in Kuala Lumpur, i wished him all the best though only know him for about 9 month..time flies, stay sharp..

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Downhill

I'mma cut to the chase..July has been a terrible month for me, i don like it and hated it. I had high hope for July to be honest, given how June starts off with a bang i was expecting something as good or nearly as good as before..boy oh boy was i wrong..

Pretty much after i gotten the 10k cheque, life slowly went down the toilet like a quick flush..I only managed to get half a commission for one of my house, dad was acting like a bitch, business was dry like grass, i lost a few houses and a lot more to elaborate. I grateful for the 10k and i kinda have a feeling that with a huge number coming in like that..some sacrifice will definitely be made.

I had secret operation in July which costs me a fortune, after 8 month of hard work..gone and it's painful, in term of losing money. I had a lot going on in my life in July, it was a patience testing moment for me to endure so much in a month..i don't know what's more worse, dad acting like a bitch or having no business at all..winner, no business.

Given how I'm already broke as fuck and to pour salt into my wounds..no business was added in the mix. Guess it's a wake up from God asking me to work harder than ever since i told myself that i want to work harder not only to gain more money but also prove to myself that i can do it by myself in the future..maybe God is actually helping, in a mysterious way?

Anyway, August is tomorrow..and i hope things will be better than July..

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I'm Supposed To Die Tonight

I was walking down the street today when out of no where this giant ass car from the right reverse her car so fast, it nearly killed me..and yes i said HER..

Female drivers.. the most notorious wrecking vehicle machines and human killing prototype on the road, men's most fearful arch nemesis, high competitive and reckless..anyway, that bitch just thought reversing her car without bother to see if anyone's behind, but luckily my spider sense was tickling fast enough for me to slow time down and dodge her incoming..

The bitch just acted like nothing and continue driving off like I'm not even there, i keep staring at her over and over. Now when i think about it, i should have throw at rock at her car hoping the smash at least a window and scratch her door or something..or even kill her..anything to make me feel good.

As my life flashes before my eyes, i thought of all the mixed rice I'll never get to eat anymore, all the beautiful green vegetable, all the delicious meat, and eggs, and squid and potato salad and all. Drool as i may, I'm over exaggerating. Today proves to me that men are better driver, women and vehicle control just don't seem to go together for some reason..

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Man Of The House

Previously on the last post..i talked about my top secret operation that I'm going through with, why i didn't tell my parents about it and why i chose to pay the bill by myself..

I feel like I'm a big boy now and that there's certain things that i can or should try to do it by myself without any assistance.. independence is important right. I chose to learn how to be more independent now than ever is because i want to know what's it feel likes to be the provider in the family.

For 20 years of my life, my dad provided almost everything for his family, a huge burden and crazy amount of responsibilities..yet he managed to do so, being his junior..and hopefully being able to be a father too sometime, i need to know that i'm capable.

That's the solely reason i did what i did.. the reason i didn't want to tell my parents cause then i have to explain everything to them then they'll try to help me pay for it and all, i love to..but i don't want to. The other reason is the same reason as the other one, independence.

Paying for the bill, i can officially confirmed that I'm bankrupt..broke and desperate in need of money to pay finish for the rest of the bill. While being broke right now i realized that without money i have more motivation to work hard like never before..with the mindset of independence, it's bad but not all that terrible after all, I'm a cow that needs to be slap on the butt in order to move.

I feel like now would be the best time to start training myself to realize the power of money struggle and how my father felt all those spending moneys on us after having to kiss so much asses just to make a few buck..time for me to fill in those shoes now.

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